What to Reply When Someone Asks 'What Are We?'
The 'what are we' conversation is one of the most nerve-wracking moments in modern dating. Your reply can shape the entire direction of the relationship, so it helps to have language ready whether you want to commit, slow down, or admit you're unsure.
Use these when
- When a relationship has been undefined for a while
- When you're ready to express your intentions clearly
- When you need more time before committing to a label
Skip these if
- Don't give a vague answer if they deserve clarity
- Don't agree to a label you're not ready for
- Avoid deflecting the question with jokes only
12 replies to choose from
I really like you and I'd like to see where this goes officially.
I'm not fully sure yet, but I know I want to keep figuring it out with you.
I'd like to call you mine, if you're on the same page.
I know what I want, and it's you, exclusively.
You feel like home to me, I'd love for this to be real.
I've been hoping you'd ask. Yes, let's be official.
I like where this is going, but can we take it slow?
I enjoy this, I just don't want to rush labeling it yet.
I want to be exclusive with you.
Let's be official.
Well, I'm definitely not seeing anyone else, so...
Took you long enough to ask.
Make it fit your exact message
Common questions
- What if I'm not ready to answer?
- It's fine to say you need a bit more time, as long as you're honest about it.
- How do I say I want to keep it casual?
- Be kind but clear, something like 'I'm enjoying this as it is right now.'
- What if we want different things?
- It's better to know early, even if the answer isn't what you hoped for.
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