What to Reply When an Ex Texts You First
An unexpected text from an ex can bring up a mix of emotions, from curiosity to irritation. Your response should reflect where you actually stand today, not where you were when the relationship ended. This situation offers reply options for staying closed off, being cordial, or leaving a door open.
Use these when
- When an ex reaches out unprompted after a breakup
- When you want to set a boundary respectfully
- When you're open to reconnecting on friendly terms
Skip these if
- Don't respond out of obligation if you don't want to
- Don't be cruel even if the breakup was messy
- Avoid mixed signals if you truly want no contact
12 replies to choose from
I don't think we should be texting.
Not sure what there is to talk about.
Hey, I'm doing well. Hope you are too.
Hi, good to hear from you, how have you been?
Hey, what's up?
Hi there, it's been a while.
I'd rather we didn't reconnect, but I wish you well.
Let's leave things as they are.
Hey! I've actually thought about you too, how are things?
Hi, this is a nice surprise, how's life been treating you?
Hey.
Hi, what do you need?
Make it fit your exact message
Common questions
- Do I have to reply at all?
- No, not replying is a valid choice if you'd rather not reconnect.
- What if they want to get back together?
- Be clear and kind, stating your actual feelings rather than leaving it ambiguous.
- Is it okay to just be friendly?
- Yes, if that reflects how you genuinely feel about reconnecting.
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