How to Reply in a "What Are We" Conversation
The relationship-defining talk is happening, whether over text or in person's follow-up message, and your reply here really matters. It's the moment to be clear about what you want instead of leaving things vague.
Use these when
- You've been seeing someone for a while without a label
- They just asked where things stand between you two
- You want to express your feelings clearly
- You're not ready to define things yet and need to say so honestly
Skip these if
- Don't give a vague non-answer if you actually know what you want
- Don't pressure them into a label they're clearly not ready for
- Don't joke your way out of a conversation that matters to them
- Don't say yes to exclusivity just to avoid an awkward talk
12 replies to choose from
Honestly, I'd love for this to be exclusive, I really like where this is going.
When you're ready to commit and say so
I know what I want, I'd like us to be official.
Clear, direct answer
I've been having a great time, happy to keep figuring it out together.
When you're open but not rushing a label
I really appreciate you asking, let me think about how to put it into words.
Buying a bit of time respectfully
I want to be exclusive with you.
Simple and clear
Sorry for being unclear before, I should've brought this up myself.
If you've been avoiding the talk
I think we should talk about this properly in person.
When you want a real conversation, not just texts
I like you a lot and I'm happy calling this whatever feels right to you.
Flexible, warm answer
I'm not sure I'm ready to put a label on this yet.
Honest but distancing if you're unsure
Depends, are you asking because you actually mean it this time?
Playful callout if they've been inconsistent
I already tell people you're mine, so I guess we're official.
Sweet and confident confirmation
Are we doing the label talk? Okay, deep breath, yes, let's be official.
Light way to say yes without overthinking
Make it fit your exact message
Common questions
- What if I don't know what I want yet?
- Say that honestly rather than giving a fake answer, most people respect clarity about uncertainty.
- How do I bring up wanting exclusivity first?
- State it plainly and calmly, something like saying you'd like to be exclusive works better than hinting.
- What if their answer isn't what I wanted?
- It's okay to say you need to think about it rather than reacting immediately.
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